


Hypnotized

by SapphireSoul102



Category: South Park
Genre: Arguing, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Time, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, High School, Hypnotism, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up, Sweet, Topping from the Bottom, some Creek but mostly Style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 09:16:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3244301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSoul102/pseuds/SapphireSoul102
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the sake of a school project, Kyle hypnotizes Stan to make him think they're a couple.</p><p>Not one of Kyle's best ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hypnotized

Stan and Kyle dreaded the first day of their sophomore year of high school. They knew it would be horrible, so Stan suggested they have a sleepover, a “last hurrah before school starts,” as Stan put it. Kyle was hesitant at first, but he didn’t want to disappoint his best friend, even though it would be Kyle’s first time doing something like this…

~~~~~

The next day, on a cold Friday morning, both of them were exhausted and Kyle was pretty pissed off. “We shouldn’t have done that, Stan,” he grumbled, “and what fucking idiot decided the first day of school should be on a Friday, anyway? It’s ridiculous.” Stan just listened to Kyle’s complaining as they walked from Stan’s house to the bus stop, where Kenny was already waiting. He took one look at his friends and raised an eyebrow, not that anyone could see it with his orange hood hiding half his face.

“What the fuck happened to you guys?” Kenny’s muffled words were hard for most people to understand, but his friends always heard what he said.

“Well, Stan had the _brilliant_ idea that we stay up all night playing video games,” Kyle glared at his dark haired friend.

“Jesus Christ, Kyle, it’s not like I forced you to do it,” Stan snapped back at him. They stared at each other with annoyance until a familiar voice broke the silence. “Jeez, you guys, all this sexual tension is killing me. Am I right, Kenny?”

“Fuck off, fatass,” Kyle snapped.

“Aw, did the Jew get in a fight with his _boyfriend_?” Cartman sniggered. Kyle wanted to strangle him. Stan sighed and wished he were in bed, sleeping.

Oh, yes, the first day of school was going to be _magical_ , no doubt…

~~~~~

On the bus, Kenny and Cartman sat behind Stan and Kyle. “Let’s compare class schedules,” Kyle suggested. The boys pulled out their schedules and soon realized that Stan, Kenny, and Kyle all had the same class during third period.

“You all took Child Development? Ahaha! That class is for chicks!” Cartman laughed aloud.

“That’s why I’m taking it,” Kenny replied happily, which only made Eric laugh harder.

“I still can’t believe we got stuck taking this Child Development class. It’s totally gonna suck,” Stan griped half-heartedly to his redheaded friend.

“Yeah, but it should be an easy A, and Cartman’s not in it, so that makes it even better,” Kyle snarked.

“Fuck you, Jew-rat!”

The boys bickered and insulted each other on the bus ride just as they did when they were ten-year-olds. Now in high school, all that had changed was their age, and consequently, their appearance. Kenny was arguably the best-looking of the four, and it was a shame that no one really saw his whole face. Stan had grown into a handsome young man, as well, while the only obvious change for Cartman and Kyle was their height; Kyle still had a boyish face and slender physique, and Cartman was still a double-chinned fatass.

Stan was fascinated by how little Kyle had changed over the years. He watched his Super Best Friend argue with Cartman about something stupid until Cartman went too far and pulled off Kyle’s hat.

“Dammit, Cartman! Give it back!” Kyle yelled, self-conscious of his curly red hair being exposed. The other students noticed the commotion, giggling and whispering about Kyle’s Jew-fro.

“Come on, dude, stop being an asshole,” Stan quickly reached for the green ushanka in Cartman’s hand, but then Cartman stuck it under his ass and farted. Kyle watched in horror as his precious hat was defiled. Cartman laughed obnoxiously. Kenny and Stan knew Kyle would snap. His eye twitched with enraged disgust.

“You son of a bitch!” Kyle was about to dive over the seat and punch Cartman in the face, but Stan held him back. He pulled off his own hat and offered it to Kyle. “Here, you can wear mine.”

Kyle turned to his now hatless friend and felt his anger subside a bit. “Thanks.” He pulled the puffball hat over his unruly hair and sighed with relief.

Kenny shook his head at his fat friend. “Seriously, what the fuck, man?” Kenny punched Cartman’s arm for being such a dick to Kyle. Cartman whined about how bad it hurt, but Kyle was too exhausted to rejoice in Cartman’s suffering.

“I’m just so fucking tired, Stan,” the redhead sighed with a scowl, resting his head on Stan’s shoulder.

“Yeah, me too, Kyle…”

~~~~~

About two hours later, after their second class finished, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were on their way to Child Development. Stan wasn’t paying attention and bumped into Tweek, who tensed violently and shrieked. He spilled some coffee and nearly dropped his cup. “Aah! My c-coffee!”

“Oh, sorry, dude,” Stan offered a meek apology.

“Watch where you’re going, asshole,” Craig flipped off Stan and took his twitchy boyfriend by the hand. “C’mon, Tweek. Let’s ditch class and make out.” Craig’s monotone voice made it impossible to know if he was being serious or sarcastic. Even Tweek couldn’t tell the difference. His cheeks turned bright red as he spazzed out with embarrassment. “D-Don’t say that! It’s too much pressure!”

Craig simply kissed the disheveled blonde on the lips, which had the odd effect of stopping Tweek’s incessant shaking. When Craig pulled away, Tweek started twitching again. “Oh, Jesus Christ!” Tweek nervously gulped down his coffee and for a brief moment, Stan could’ve sworn he saw Craig smiling at Tweek. Actually _smiling_ , like he was happy. His sharp gaze then returned to Stan and he flipped him off once more before turning away.

The three boys watched the odd pair walk down the hall together, hand in trembling hand. “I told you guys they’d hook up,” Kenny commented. His friends nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, you called it, Kenny. But how’d you know?” Kyle asked.

“It was pretty fuckin’ obvious, dude,” Kenny chuckled.

“I’m kinda surprised it took this long, actually,” Stan added.

“Really, Stan? I didn’t really notice anything couply about them,” Kyle furrowed his brow in thought.

Stan shrugged. “I just kinda got a vibe from those two. The way they would act around each other. I dunno, it’s hard to explain.”

The three boys walked into class and sat off to the side. They noticed that many of their fellow classmates were from their fourth grade class, and there were actually more boys than girls. Butters sat next to Kenny and smiled. “Hey, fellas!”

“Oh, hey, Butters,” Stan yawned.

“I hear we get to take care of little egg babies again in this class,” Butters said happily.

Kyle tensed. “Did you say eggs?” He remembered when everyone in his class was paired and assigned to take care of an egg for a week in elementary school. The redhead silently prayed that he would get paired with someone responsible. Just then, their teacher walked in and surveyed the students.

“Alright, class, quiet down. I don’t wanna be here either, so let’s just take attendance and get on with it.” Mr. Garrison noticed a few unfamiliar names on the list. “For those of you who don’t know, I’m Mr. Garrison. Now let’s get started on your most important project. This will count for half your grade, so if you fail this, you’re basically screwed.”

Mr. Garrison pulled out two egg cartons and told everyone to pair up with the person sitting next to them. Quiet chatter filled the classroom as students looked to their left and right. Butters raised his hand.

“Yes, what is it, Butters?”

“So you’re not gonna pair boys and girls?” Butters asked.

“No, just partner up with whoever’s sitting next to you.”

Kyle, being at the end of the row, had no choice but to pair up with his best friend. Stan turned to him and quirked a smile. “Well, at least there won’t be any assassins trying to shoot our egg this time.”

Mr. Garrison handed each pair one egg with his signature on it. Stan placed it on his desk and yawned loudly, not noticing when it started rolling toward the edge. Kyle gasped and saved the egg from falling to the floor, clutching it protectively. This little thing was worth half his grade, after all. He’d never failed a class before, and he didn’t plan on failing this one.

Mr. Garrison soon finished passing out the eggs and tossed an empty egg carton in the trash. The other carton was still half full.

“Does every pair of you have an egg?”

The whole class nodded. Mr. Garrison sat behind his desk at the front of the room.

“Alright, this class goes on for half the school year. It’s your job to take care of those eggs until the last day of class. Each of you will take turns looking after it, and you’ll bring it in for me to check every class. Decorate it at home, if you want. Just make sure they don’t break, ‘cause that means you have a dead baby and you failed as a parent,” Mr. Garrison turned toward the chalkboard. “Now let’s begin the first lesson…”

“Jesus Christ,” Kyle muttered under his breath, panic building inside him. Stan rested a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, dude. We got this,” he whispered.

Kyle wished he felt the same way. He wanted to trust Stan with this project, he really did, but his sleep-deprived mind was already thinking of how to ensure their egg’s safety in the hands of his best friend…

By the end of class, he’d come up with a desperate plan that just might save his grade.

~~~~~

Kyle carried the egg around for the first day. He sat with Stan and the rest of the boys at lunch, trying to seem like he wasn’t worried about anything.

“Hey, Stan? Would you just want me to take care of the egg? I really don’t mind.”

“No, Kyle. I’m not gonna let you do all the work. We’ll swap the egg every day so it’ll be fair.”

That’s the answer Kyle expected to hear. “Okay, we’ll do that. Hey, let’s have another sleepover and decorate our egg, er, baby.”

Stan chuckled. “Sure, dude. But we gotta have it at your house this time. I don’t want my dad asking us weird questions…”

“What do you mean by weird questions?”

“I think it’d be better if I told you later,” Stan discretely gestured toward Cartman and the other boys.

“Okay.” Kyle nodded in understanding. It probably would be better if Cartman didn’t know about any of this.

~~~~~

When the final bell rang, Stan met Kyle at his locker.

“Hey, Stan. So what were you talking about earlier? Something about weird questions?” Kyle was still half-asleep and couldn’t think straight. Stan sighed and ran a hand through his shaggy black hair.

“Well, I think my dad’s getting the wrong idea about us. I overheard him talking to my mom and he mentioned how you didn’t bring a sleeping bag the last time you came over. Then he asked her if she thinks we’re, like, a couple,” Stan laughed nervously.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, unhappy with how uncomfortable Stan sounded. “So what’d she say?”

“She said something like, Randy, why do you care? Just let them be happy together.”

“Your mom’s cool. She wouldn’t care if you’re gay or bi or whatever. I wish my parents were like that…” Kyle got lost in thought for a moment.

“Yeah, I just wish my dad would shut up about it. Like, last time you slept over my house he asked me if we both slept in my bed and I said yeah, ‘cause Kyle forgot his sleeping bag and I wasn’t gonna let him sleep on the floor… then he got all pissed off and asked why I didn’t make you sleep on the couch, so I told him it’s ‘cause _he_ was still on the couch, drinking and watching TV or something…”

Kyle furrowed his brow and looked Stan in the eyes, annoyed by his apparent need to preserve his heterosexual image because of his father’s dumb opinions. “You’re not actually bothered by this shit, are you, Stan? We know the truth about us and that’s that. I mean, who cares what he thinks? Who cares what _anyone_ thinks?”

“You’re right,” Stan agreed, “but I’d still like to sleepover at your house. Your bed’s comfier than mine.” The taller boy smiled at his best friend, his mind now at ease.

“My bed sucks ass and you know it, dude,” Kyle scoffed, elbowing Stan in the ribs.

The teens laughed and playfully shoved each other about, all their worries forgotten as they walked out of the school.

~~~~~

Stan got home and took a shower. He told his mom he was going to do homework in his room, which was a lie. He got into bed and took a desperately needed nap.

A while later, his cell phone rang and woke him up. He knew it was Kyle calling; Stan’s phone was set to play the cheesy One Direction song “Steal My Girl” whenever Kyle called. The groggy teen grabbed it off his bedside table and answered.

“Hey.”

“So you think you can come over around eight-ish tonight?” Kyle asked. He sounded anxious.

“Uh, yeah, that should be fine,” Stan rubbed his eyes and yawned, “what time is it right now?”

“About quarter of six.”

Stan thought for a moment. “How the fuck are you still awake, dude?”

“Eh, just not tired anymore, I guess. See you at eight, Stan. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Stan hung up the phone. Kyle was acting weird, but he assumed it was the lack of sleep making him behave differently. And so an unsuspecting Stan Marsh got out of bed and went downstairs in time for dinner.

Meanwhile, at the Broflovski household, something much more devious was going on.

~~~~~

Some people get their best ideas when they haven’t slept for a day. Kyle was obviously not one of those people. The best idea his tired brain could think of was to hypnotize Stan into thinking they're a couple, which meant Stan would take better care of the egg, or at least that's what Kyle's logic concluded.

At seven o’clock, Kyle was still on his computer, desperately searching for a way to hypnotize people for long periods of time. He had searched online since he got home from school, finding one bogus scheme after another.

“Hypnotism for Idiots: How to Make People Do What You Want,” he read aloud before clicking on another link. Kyle was skeptical about how well this would work, or if it would work on Stan at all, but he was out of options. He could try to trust his friend to keep their egg safe for half the school year, but this egg’s safety was Kyle’s ticket to passing the class. Kyle was determined to make sure Stan wouldn’t screw this up.

Kyle clicked one more link that looked fairly promising. The technique seemed easy enough, but his hopes sank as he read the warning at the bottom of the instructions.

“All forms of hypnosis will only work on the subject if they are open to suggestion and morally unopposed to the hypnotic suggestions given. A subject will not agree to do something that goes against their moral fiber… well, shit. There goes that idea. How could I hypnotize Stan into believing that we’re a couple when he’s not gay? Oh, Jesus, I’m so fucked. But I don’t know what else to do.”

Kyle’s cell phone startled him when it vibrated against his desk. Stan was calling.

“Hello?”

“Hey, dude. My parents got in a huge fight when I told them I was sleeping over at your house. I bailed. I’m on my way to your place right now. Is that cool?”

Kyle wanted to puke. He was nowhere near ready to try hypnotizing his best friend, but he couldn’t just blow him off. “Uh, y-yeah. See you soon, then.”

“Thanks. See ya.”

“Shit!” Kyle swore after hanging up the phone.

He hurriedly read through the hypnotism technique several times. Just then he heard the doorbell ring. His mother answered the door. “Oh, hello, Stanley. You’re early.”

“Jesus Christ…I’m so screwed.” Kyle groaned.

Mrs. Broflovski let Stan come in the house and closed the door behind him. “Yeah, I just wanted to make sure we have enough time to do our project,” Stan fibbed.

“Alright then. Kyle’s up in his room.”

Upstairs, Kyle was trying not to panic. He shut off his computer and opened a textbook, pretending to study. Stan opened his bedroom door without knocking.

“Hi, Kyle.”

Stan took off his backpack and tossed his sleeping bag near Kyle’s closet.

Kyle turned to greet his friend. “What’s up?”

Stan took one look at Kyle’s sleep-deprived face and remembered that Kyle hadn’t slept for over a day. “Holy shit, dude. You really should go to sleep. We can decorate the egg tomorrow.”

“No! I just wanna get it done tonight!” Kyle didn’t realize just how irritable he was until he heard himself snap at his best friend. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sat next to Kyle.

“Fine. Let’s get it done.”

Kyle rubbed his tired eyes and took a deep breath. He unscrewed the small thermos sitting on his desk and removed a ball of blue cloth.

“Is that my hat?” Stan chuckled.

“Yeah. I thought it would make a good cushion, at least temporarily.”

Kyle carefully unwrapped it to expose the egg with Mr. Garrison’s signature on it. He handed the hat to Stan, who tossed it on top of his backpack.

“Speaking of hats, I guess you had an extra one?” Stan playfully tugged on the earflap of Kyle’s green ushanka.

“Yeah. I don’t really want the other one back,” Kyle muttered, pulling the hat tightly over his head and tucking a loose curl of red hair out of sight. Stan frowned.

“You don’t have to wear that around me, you know. I wouldn’t make fun of your hair. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I saw your hair before today.”

“It’s a damn eyesore, Stan. No one wants to see it…”

“It’s just different. It makes you you.”

Kyle didn’t acknowledge the comment. Awkward silence hovered in the air. Stan changed the conversation back to their egg.

“It’s a really great idea keeping it all wrapped up in a thermos.”

“Thanks.” Kyle set the pale beige egg on the desk between two pencils so it wouldn’t roll away.

The boys watched it wibble slightly between the pencils until it stilled completely.

“So is it a boy or a girl?” Kyle leaned on the desk. Stan shrugged. “I’d like to have a baby girl.”

“Well, I’d like a boy, so let’s flip a coin, I guess,” Kyle yawned.

Stan fished through his pockets for a penny or nickel, but found nothing but a few dollars. “Does it really matter? It’s just an egg.”

“Dammit, Stan! We have to take care of this egg for half the school year! It’s worth half our grade! You could at least _pretend_ to give a shit.”

“Dude, you’re way overtired. Just chill,” Stan put a hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “Let’s do rock-paper-scissors to choose, okay? You win, it’s a boy. I win, it’s a girl.”

“Fine,” Kyle grumbled.

They tied the first two games. On the third, Stan’s scissors beat Kyle’s paper.

“You can name her,” Stan offered.

“After we decorate.”

Kyle rummaged through the desk drawer for some Sharpies and glue. Stan opened his backpack and pulled out a bag of scrap cloth and yarn. After some deliberation, they drew green eyes and glued on black yarn for hair. Stan drew a small smile with the thinnest Sharpie they had, and then she was complete. Kyle looked at their creation for a few minutes, thinking of what to call their new daughter.

“Melody,” Kyle said, “I like that name.”

“Awesome. Let’s put her back in the thermos to be safe.”

Kyle nodded. He went to the closet to find a soft shirt to wrap the egg in, letting it sit inside the thermos like a little nest. Stan yawned, then Kyle yawned, and the two looked at each other and chuckled.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Stan suggested.

“Okay,” Kyle agreed, “I’ll go change in the bathroom.”

The redhead got his pajamas and left the room. He changed his clothes and brushed his teeth while Stan changed in the bedroom. When he finished, Kyle returned and Stan went to brush his teeth.

Kyle sat on the edge of his bed, heart racing with anxiety from what he was about to do to his best friend. He went over the hypnotism procedure in his mind and tried to convince himself it was going to work. Stan returned after a few minutes and Kyle used the bizarre techniques to hypnotize him.

If everything worked properly, Stan’s new reality would be that he and Kyle just started dating and he needed to keep Melody safe to prove his commitment to their relationship.

What could possibly go wrong?

~~~~~

The next morning, Kyle woke up first. He got out of bed and got dressed, careful not to wake Stan since it was Saturday and they could sleep in. The redhead also wanted to be there when Stan awoke to make sure his plan worked.

Watching the black-haired teen sleep, Kyle had second thoughts about his plan. He vaguely wondered what problems might arise from hypnotizing Stan into thinking they’re a couple. If only their whole grade didn’t depend on this one damn project, maybe Kyle would’ve thought better of it.

He paced beside the bed, thinking of whether or not to keep their “relationship” a secret or let their friends and family think it’s real, if the hypnotism actually worked. Then he felt his best friend’s arms wrap around him, their bodies pressed back to front in an intimate embrace. Kyle nearly pissed himself at the sudden contact, but at least he knew the hypnotism did the trick.

“Mornin’,” Stan spoke softly, his voice a bit husky from just waking up. “Morning, Stan,” he replied, looking ahead into the mirror atop his dresser. It was a strange sight, seeing his best friend standing behind him with a sleepy smile on his face, arms wrapped around Kyle’s waist. Stan gently nuzzled Kyle’s ear with his nose and the redhead shivered.

No one had ever touched Kyle like this, but he knew he had to play along since Stan truly believed they were a couple. He even let Stan take off his precious ushanka and stroke his curly hair, something no one had ever done before. _I guess Stan actually likes my hair_ … Kyle thought.

Stan looked so happy, and Kyle told himself it wasn’t real happiness, just the happiness he felt because of being hypnotized into a fake relationship. He told himself it was worth it to get an A+ in Child Development, but watching himself and Stan in the mirror, Kyle started to feel horrible about the whole situation.

What would happen when the class ended? Would Stan remember everything? What if he couldn’t snap Stan out of this hypnosis? He might have to break up with him and possibly ruin their friendship forever…

“I’m hungry. Let’s go get breakfast,” Stan commented. He let go of Kyle and turned to leave the room. Kyle just stood there, looking in the mirror and hating himself as he pulled his hat back over his hair.

“You coming?” Stan put a hand on Kyle’s shoulder, making the shorter boy turn around.

“Huh? Oh, y-yeah. Let’s go,” Kyle tripped over his words, “but, uhm, could we… keep this a secret for now? I don’t think I’m ready to tell everyone we’re a couple…”

Stan frowned slightly. “Sure, dude. But why don’t you want anyone to know?”

“I just… I don’t know. I’d just prefer if we didn’t tell anyone yet.”

“Alright.”

Stan took Kyle by the hand and squeezed it affectionately. Kyle wanted to pull away but couldn’t. He had no clue how to do this whole boyfriend thing, especially since he didn’t really like Stan that way.

The black-haired teen gazed longingly at the redhead with oceanic blue eyes and Kyle found himself captivated by their color. Even Kyle had to admit Stan was really quite attractive, but that didn’t mean it would be easy for him to pretend they’re a couple when they obviously weren’t.

~~~~~

Two months later, everything was going well with the egg project. Stan was very attentive and responsible for its care on the days he took it home, and Kyle was pleased with that. Stan also respected Kyle’s wish of confining physical affection to times when they’re completely alone, which meant no one suspected anything about their relationship status.

The only problem was the funny feeling Kyle got whenever Stan hugged him or held his hand. Kyle never thought it would feel nice to cuddle with another guy, even if that guy was his best friend, but being close to Stan felt more comforting than repulsive.

One day after school, Stan approached Kyle at his locker and whispered “I love you, Kyle” into the redhead’s ear. Kyle turned to his real-fake boyfriend in surprise. Hearing Stan say that made his insides flutter with a bubbly, weird sensation. He quickly realized he had to say it back or Stan would be hurt. “I… I love you too, Stan.”

It wasn’t a complete lie; Kyle did love Stan, just not the way one cares for their lover. But even so, Kyle got a strange, unpleasant feeling as he said it.

Stan smiled happily, looking at Kyle with longing in his eyes. Kyle smiled back and hugged him, but inside, the redhead was full of emotional turmoil.

Other than Kyle’s weird problems with hypnotized Stan, life went on as usual for the four friends at South Park High School. Cartman and Kyle insulted and argued with each other like always, and Stan and Kenny dealt with their friends’ immature spats. Kyle thought he was doing a good job keeping his fake relationship a secret, but apparently he wasn’t doing as well as he thought.

A week or so later, Kyle and Kenny were the first to arrive at the bus stop. The hooded teen turned to his redheaded friend and asked how long he and Stan have been dating. Kyle was surprised and annoyed by the question.

“What the hell are you talking about? We’re not a couple!” Kyle insisted.

“Sure, dude.” Kenny’s muffled reply was accompanied by an incredulous look.

Kyle chewed his lip and decided to confide in Kenny. He just needed to get this secret off his chest. “I really fucked up, Kenny.”

Kenny raised an eyebrow. “What’d you do?”

“You know how I’m paired with Stan for the Child Development project worth half our grade?”

The blonde nodded.

“Well, I… I didn’t trust Stan to take proper care of the egg for half the school year, so I hypnotized him into thinking that we’re a real couple and that he had to be responsible for our egg to prove his commitment to our relationship… but now I actually feel weird whenever I’m around him, like I might… _like_ like him. And lately he’s been giving me really weird looks, like he wants to kiss me or something…”

Kenny took a moment to process the bizarre situation. “What did you expect? If you made Stan think you’re his boyfriend then he’ll obviously wanna get in your pants.”

Kyle’s cheeks turned red at the thought. “I know, it’s just-- he hasn’t actually said anything about it but I think he’s getting impatient with how slow our relationship is moving along… like how I push his hand away whenever it goes too far up my leg or whatever. Jesus Christ, I just don’t know what to do! And what if I actually like him like that, Kenny? What am I supposed to do when the project’s over and we’re not a couple anymore? I don’t know if I can go back to how it was before we started cuddling and holding hands ‘cause I… I really like being so close to Stan.”

“Holy shit. This is really fucked up, dude. I dunno what to do about your feelings for Stan, but you should probably stop this whole hypnosis thing before it gets even worse.” Kenny’s muffled advice made Kyle feel uneasy.

“But I need him to take good care of the egg or I’ll fail the class!”

“You really think he’d be careless enough to break it?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to risk it… I guess I’ll just deal with this ‘til the class is over.”

Kenny shrugged and shook his head. Kyle looked down the street and saw Cartman walking towards them.

“Oh, and Kenny?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t tell anyone about this.”

Kenny pantomimed zipping his lips. He wouldn’t tell Kyle’s secret, but he had a premonition that this was going to end badly whether others knew or not.

~~~~~

A week later, the four boys went to the movies to watch _Taken 3_. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny shared a huge bag of popcorn while Cartman had a pile of junk food all to himself. Stan put his arm around Kyle’s shoulders. The redhead felt oddly comfortable with his friend’s touch, and he even leaned against him during the movie, his head on Stan’s shoulder.

“I wish this armrest wasn’t here. It’s in the way,” Kyle complained quietly. Kenny overheard this comment and looked over at Stan and Kyle. He giggled at the cuddling pair and Kyle blushed. Cartman was oblivious to the whole situation, sitting on the other side of Kenny with his plethora of candy.

Halfway through the movie, Kyle looked up at Stan, his head still resting against the dark-haired boy’s shoulder. The angle of Kyle’s view combined with the dim lighting made Kyle think, _wow_ , _Stan’s really hot_ … Kyle tilted his head a bit more and his nose accidentally brushed Stan’s cheek.

“Hm?” Stan turned to look at Kyle and noticed their faces were terribly close together. One wrong move and they would have their first kiss. Stan’s stomach twisted with nerves.

“Uh…” Kyle’s cheeks turned red, then a small shove pushed his lips right into Stan’s. It lasted less than a second before Kyle whipped around to face Kenny. “What the fuck, dude?! Why’d you push me?!” Kyle shouted in a whisper.

Kenny was about to explain himself when a sickening _splat_ drew Kyle’s attention back to Stan, who was currently throwing up his lunch onto the floor. “Jesus Christ,” Kyle cringed and stood up to avoid the acidic splatter. Stan got up and muttered something about feeling dizzy and needing a bathroom. Kyle sighed and followed Stan, putting a hand on his shoulder as they left the theater together.

Watching Stan rinse his face and mouth, Kyle wondered why he threw up in the first place.

“Are you okay, Stan?”

The taller boy nodded, a slight scowl on his face. “Yeah. I’m fine now.”

They left the bathroom and walked back toward the movie in weird silence.

“So why’d you get sick?” Kyle asked, frowning. “It’s ‘cause we kissed, isn’t it?”

“I… I guess so…” Stan didn’t meet Kyle’s gaze.

“Kenny bumped me into you and I didn’t expect it, but was it really that horrible?” Kyle hated himself for caring about it when he wasn’t actually Stan’s boyfriend.

“No! Kyle, that’s not it. It’s just-- when I saw how close you were, I thought about how I wanted to kiss you and I got all nervous. Then we actually did it and I kinda freaked out. It was so fast and then you just pulled away and got mad at Kenny and my stomach couldn’t handle it.”

“Oh.”

Before they re-entered the theater, Stan pulled Kyle off to the side. “Wait. I wanna tell you something.” Stan put his hands on Kyle’s shoulders, the redhead’s back leaning against the wall.

“It would’ve been different if we were alone in your room, Kyle. I mean, we’re a couple, and I want to do things only couples do,” Stan’s voice was unusually suggestive, and Kyle saw the obvious desire in his eyes. This Stan was different than the boy who threw up after a kiss.

This Stan wanted a lot more than kisses.

Kyle suddenly felt nervous; Stan was sleeping over tonight. “Y-You mean you want to--?”

“Well, yeah. We’ve been together for almost two months now. I’d like to do more than hold hands and cuddle,” Stan gently squeezed Kyle’s shoulders and smiled seductively. Kyle looked away, afraid of what Stan might try to do once they were alone.

“Let’s go finish the movie,” Kyle blurted out, slipping free from Stan’s touch and bolting into the theater.

Stan stood by himself for a few moments, thinking. When he finally went in the theater and sat next to Kyle, he seemed like his usual self again, but Kyle was wary of Stan’s odd behavior.

He didn’t rest his head against Stan’s shoulder for the remainder of the movie.

~~~~~

“Dude, that movie was weak! The only thing that got ‘taken’ was our money!” Cartman snorted.

“C’mon, it wasn’t that bad. Liam Neeson still kicked ass,” Stan commented. Kenny nodded in agreement. He mumbled something about the Russian guy in his underwear and laughed.

“What about you, Kyle? Did you like it?” Stan asked his not-boyfriend. Kyle didn’t answer. He was too busy thinking about how bad he’d fucked up his life, how his best friend now wanted to have sex with him all because he was reckless and hypnotized Stan for the sake of a stupid school project.

Stan tapped Kyle’s arm and startled him. “What?”

“I just asked if you liked the movie, dude.”

“It was okay.”

Kyle spaced out again as Kenny mentioned something about stealing some liquor from his dad and then going to Stark’s Pond to drink and smoke weed and look at dirty magazines.

“Sweet. I’m bringin’ my extra candy.” Cartman shoved a Twizzler in his mouth.

“You guys comin’ along?” Kenny asked, voice muffled by his orange parka.

Stan answered before Kyle could say “yes, we’d love to go.”

“Nah, me and Kyle were gonna go back to his place and try out a new video game. Right, Kyle?”

“Yeah,” Kyle fibbed. Stan smiled at him.

“Can I come?” Kenny sounded hopeful. His family couldn’t afford an Xbox, so he only got to play at his friends’ houses.

“It’s only a two-player game, dude, and it’s not really the kind that’s fun to watch while other people play,” Stan lied. Kyle didn’t have a new video game. Stan was referring to something completely different. Cartman was oblivious, too busy eating his candy to care, but Kenny picked up on it right away.

“You sure it’s only a _two_ -player game?” The hooded boy winked and slipped his arm around Kyle’s waist. The redhead frowned at the not-so-subtle sexual suggestion and shoved Kenny off.

“Ugh! Let’s just go, Stan!” Kyle’s cheeks turned red. He knew tonight was going to be bad enough with hypnotized Stan getting all hot and bothered. Add one perverted Kenny to the mix and it would be living hell for the Jew.

Sure, Kenny liked girls, but guys certainly weren’t out of the question, _and_ his friends were pretty hot… he thought of something more fun than getting drunk and high with Cartman at Stark’s Pond.

Kyle grabbed Stan by the wrist and they walked in the opposite direction of their friends, toward Kyle’s house. He held Kyle’s hand and lightly tickled his palm through his winter glove, making the redhead’s skin tingle.

They walked in silence, hand in hand, fresh snow crunching underfoot, Kyle’s anxiety building with every step…

 _Don’t freak out Kyle it’s gonna be okay Stan’s not gonna rape you everything’s cool_ , the redhead mentally assured himself; it only made Kyle feel worse, especially when he realized he sort of wanted Stan to touch him.

~~~~~

The boys arrived at Kyle’s house around seven o’clock. Kyle’s parents were watching TV in the living room.

“Hello, Kyle,” Gerald greeted his son, “is Stan staying the night?”

“Only if it’s okay with you.” Kyle silently hoped his parents had a problem with it.

“Oh, of course, Stanley’s always welcome here. Isn’t that right Gerald?”

“Sure,” he agreed.

“Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski,” Stan said appreciatively before he and Kyle went upstairs.

“Such a polite young man,” Sheila smiled, unaware of that polite young man’s desire to sleep with her son.

~~~~~

The boys went to Kyle’s bedroom and Kyle closed the door behind them, God forbid his parents ever saw him being intimate with his childhood friend.

“Where’s Melody?” Stan asked, looking around the room for the black-haired, green-eyed egg.

“In the top drawer of the dresser. I always keep her there on the weekend to be safe,” Kyle sat on the edge of his bed and took off his boots and jacket. Stan opened the drawer Kyle specified and removed the thermos containing the egg. He unscrewed the top and peeked inside to make sure Melody was okay. Smiling, he replaced the top and put the thermos back in the drawer, right next to Kyle’s green boxers.

“ _Dude_. They legit match your hat,” Stan picked up a pair and laughed. Kyle wasn’t paying attention as he hung up his jacket.

“What are you talking about, Stan?”

“These.” Stan held up Kyle’s underwear in all its green glory, unfolded for the redhead to see.

“What the fuck! Gimme those!” Kyle snapped. He rushed over and snatched his boxers from Stan, grumbling as he folded them and put them back in place.

“Woah, chill, dude. I just think it’s funny that they’re the same color as your hat. I’m not making fun of it.”

Kyle gently closed the drawer so Melody wouldn’t break. “I didn’t say you could just rummage through my drawers.”

“I just wanted to check on Melody. Jesus, I didn’t think it would bother you if I saw what’s in your drawer. I mean, I’m your boyfriend. You shouldn’t get all weird about me seeing your stuff.”

“Whatever,” Kyle quipped, “I’m gonna study for the math test on Thursday.”

Stan watched Kyle sit at his desk and open a notebook.

“But it’s Friday night. Let’s have fun,” Stan insisted. He put a hand on Kyle’s shoulder only to have it swatted away.

“I don’t feel like having fun.”

Stan sighed and stared at the back of Kyle’s head for a minute or so, then he spun Kyle’s chair around, hovering over the shorter teen.

“Why are you so pissed off? What did I do?”

“Look, it doesn’t matter, okay! Just forget it!” Kyle tried turning back to his desk but Stan grabbed the chair and held it in place.

“No! Tell me! Is it ‘cause I saw your underwear?

Kyle blushed and avoided eye contact. “No…”

“It’s ‘cause I got sick at the movies, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not that!” Kyle stood up and pushed Stan away. “I said it doesn’t matter so forget it!”

The snappy redhead made his way to the door but wasn’t quick enough to get out. Stan spun him around and held him by the shoulders, Kyle’s back pressed against the door.

“It obviously matters if it’s making you this upset, dude,” Stan’s tone was softer than before. Kyle saw the genuine concern in his eyes. He wanted to say the truth but feared that bringing it up might start trouble.

“Please, Kyle. I love you. Tell me what’s wrong,” Stan implored.

 _Fucking hell, those stupid puppydog eyes_ … Kyle thought to himself as he looked into Stan’s big blue eyes. He took a deep breath and decided to be honest.

“It’s what you said at the theater, how you wanna do more than hold hands and cuddle… I just don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

Stan frowned, more out of sympathy and sadness than disappointment. He didn’t want Kyle to be upset because of him. “I wasn’t trying to pressure you. I just really want you,” Stan slid one hand to caress the back of Kyle’s neck.

“Well, I guess kissing would be okay,” Kyle murmured, “just don’t throw up on me.”

Stan chuckled at that.

“I’m serious, Stan!”

“I know! I won’t throw up this time. I promise…”

Kyle tried to relax as Stan inched closer and closer to his lips. He screwed up his face when he felt a popcorn kernel stuck between his teeth.

“Wait, wait. I wanna brush my teeth. My mouth tastes like artificial butter.”

“Uh, okay. We might as well change our clothes, too, then.”

~~~~~

Fifteen minutes later, both boys sported minty fresh breath and comfy pajamas.

“Better?”

“Yeah. I had popcorn stuck in my teeth.”

“Haha, me too, dude. That’s the one thing I hate about movies,” Stan joked. He took off his puffball hat and set it aside along with his other clothes.

Kyle sat on the edge of his bed, his face set in a scowl as he got lost in thought. Stan sat beside him.

“You sure you’re okay, Kyle? Nothing you wanna tell me?”

“No, I was just thinking.”

“You need to stop thinking and just _relax_.” Stan cupped the redhead’s cheek and tilted his head. Kyle watched as Stan closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss him.

“Actually, I wanna study for a bit,” Kyle suddenly turned away and Stan ended up kissing his cheek instead of his lips. He blinked in confusion.

“Dude, it’s like you’re trying to avoid kissing me.”

“Huh? No, I just want to make sure I do well on the math test,” Kyle lied.

“Bullshit. You’re acting like you really _don’t_ want to kiss me.”

“I… I just don’t-- oh, Christ, I’m so stupid…”

Kyle hated himself for thinking hypnotism would actually solve his problems instead of causing even bigger ones. He didn’t know how to explain the truth without ruining everything, so he decided to lie again.

“I keep thinking that once we kiss, it might go too far and you could…”

Stan furrowed his brow with concern. He didn’t like where this was going. “I could _what_ , Kyle?”

Kyle sighed deeply. “That you could get carried away and I know you’re stronger than me so you--”

“Dude! You really think I’d try to force you to do something you don’t want?!” Stan sounded hurt, and Kyle hated himself even more. There was no way this conversation was going to end well.

“I mean, we’ve shared a bed at sleepovers so many times and I assume you trusted me not to molest you in your sleep, so why is it such a huge problem now that we’re a couple?”

“I don’t know, dammit! I’m just telling you why I didn’t want to kiss you! I don’t know how far you’d try to go or what you’d do if you were really horny or whatever!”

“Why are you talking about this like you don’t ever want to do anything in bed with me other than sleep, dude? Why are we together if you don’t even want me like that?”

“I don’t fucking know anymore, Stan.”

Kyle stood up and walked over to his dresser. Seeing himself in the mirror made him feel sick, disgusted by his reflection. “I really don’t know…” he muttered, more to himself than to Stan. Things had gotten so out of hand that Kyle couldn’t think clearly.

Stan walked up behind him, staying a few feet away. “I know I can’t make you want me the way I want you so… do you wanna… break up?”

The black-haired teen sounded choked up, and Kyle felt the guilt festering in his chest. In his mind, he had several choices. He could try to resolve this conflict and stay together, undo the hypnosis and act like nothing happened, end his fake relationship, or just abandon common sense and kiss his best friend.

 _Do I really want this_? _Or am I just doing this to get a good grade_? Kyle questioned himself.

Kyle turned around to face Stan and looked up into deep blue eyes, considering his choices. He made up his mind and grabbed Stan by the waist, pulling him closer until their bodies were pressed together.

“Kyle?”

Poor Stan was confused, and Kyle offered no explanation. Finally, Kyle thought _fuck it_ and stood on tiptoe to kiss the taller boy.

“Mm!” Stan made a noise of surprise, getting a nauseated feeling in his stomach. He forced himself to calm down and relax into the sudden kiss.

 _Wow this feels really good_ , Kyle thought to himself, moving his lips and tongue against Stan’s. It was a sweet, loving kiss, but also full of need and desire. They were inexperienced teenage boys, after all.

Stan wrapped his arms around Kyle and slipped a hand under his hat to grab the red curls hidden there. They kissed passionately, pulling at each other’s shirts and grinding their hips together. Stan kissed the redhead’s pale neck and Kyle leaned his head back. He ran his tongue along Kyle’s throat and felt fingernails lightly scratch his scalp. Stan soon realized how much he loved the feeling of Kyle’s fingers twisting in his hair.

“Can I take off your hat?” Stan asked softly.

“If you really want to,” Kyle smiled shyly at him.

“Why else would I ask?” Stan teased.

“Shut up, jerk.” Kyle pulled him into a forceful kiss and Stan pulled off Kyle’s ushanka, gently tugging and massaging the thick, red curls. It felt surprisingly nice, so Kyle let Stan do as he pleased with his messy hair.

“Mmm…” Kyle hummed with delight, slowly steering them towards the bed. The edge of the bed hit the back of his legs and he allowed himself to fall. Stan went down with him, still kissing. The bed creaked under their weight, Stan’s body atop Kyle’s, and for some reason that made Kyle even more aroused.

Now half-lying on the bed, Stan looked Kyle in the eyes, silently asking permission to continue. Kyle leaned on his elbows as he repositioned himself on the bed. Stan nearly pounced on the delectable redhead, kissing him on the mouth.

An odd noise caught their attention when Kyle slid his hands up Stan’s shirt. It sounded like a hard _thud_. They stopped kissing and looked at one another in confusion.

“Did you hear that?”

“Yeah. It sounded like it came from outside,” Stan leaned back on his knees, straddling Kyle as he looked over at the window. Outside, he saw nothing but the tall tree next to the house, branches swaying in the cold wind. Stan turned to Kyle and shrugged.

“Eh, whatever. Just take off your shirt,” Kyle stuck his tongue out. Stan took him by the hands and pulled him up into a sitting position. He leaned over and kissed Kyle on the lips.

“I want you to take it off me… pants, too…” Stan purred. Kyle bit his lip and slid his hands under Stan’s shirt, pulling it up over his head and tossing it aside; Stan wasn’t forcing him to do anything, and Kyle subconsciously hated how much he wanted the taller boy, because he couldn’t resist going further.

“Wow,” Kyle eyed Stan’s torso appreciatively. His muscles were more toned and his physique more masculine than Kyle’s, and the redhead found that terribly attractive. Kyle was almost ashamed of how turned on he was by the sight of his best friend’s body, but he was far too horny to feel embarrassed. He leaned forward and planted a wet kiss on Stan’s chest as he hooked his fingers under the waistband of the raven-haired teen’s pajama bottoms, careful to avoid pulling down his underwear, too.

With Stan’s pants pulled down mid-thigh, it was easy to see his erection stretching the fabric of his briefs. Kyle thought he might faint. Stan pulled the pants off completely, one leg at a time, and Kyle just stared at the impressive, tempting bulge mere inches away from him.

“Can I take yours off, babe?” Stan’s voice was irrisistably sultry, and what surprised Kyle even more than the pet name was how much it turned him on to hear Stan talk like that.

“Yes. Take it off.”

Kyle felt his heart racing as Stan slowly slid the t-shirt up his body. He lifted his arms and Stan pulled it off over his head, tossing it next to his own discarded shirt.

Stan ran his hands along Kyle’s chest and sides. The redhead’s slender frame felt perfect under his fingers. Kyle blushed as he felt Stan’s gaze travel up and down his body.

“Mmm, you’re so sexy,” Stan licked his lips. He leaned in and kissed Kyle on the mouth. Kyle threw his arms around Stan’s shoulders and pulled him close as they fell back onto the bed. Eager hands rubbed the bare skin of each other’s bodies. They kissed and moaned softly against one another’s mouths.

When they were out of breath, Stan moved from Kyle’s mouth to suck on his neck, nearly hard enough to hurt. Kyle twisted his fingers in Stan’s hair and relished the feeling of Stan’s lips on his skin. Another thudding noise came from outside, but they both ignored it, engrossed in the heat of the moment.

As Stan kissed and licked his way down Kyle’s chest and abdomen, the redhead became more self-conscious, but also more aroused. He watched Stan move lower and lower, past his belly button. Stan held Kyle by the hips and left a trail of kisses along the edge of his pants, looking up at Kyle to silently ask if he could keep going.

Kyle nodded. He wanted this so badly now that there was no going back. His high moral standards had a funny way of plummeting now that his best friend was on top of him, making him feel so desirable and touching him in ways no one ever had. Being sixteen suddenly didn’t seem to matter, and neither did the fact that Kyle’s parents were in the house…

Stan rubbed the redhead’s cock through his pants and Kyle arched his back and moaned. “Ahh, Stan…”

The taller boy ran his thumb along the edge of the fabric, looking up at Kyle with lust in his eyes. “Can I suck you, babe? I _really_ want to,” Stan pleaded. Kyle couldn’t resist. He quickly nodded again and watched Stan pull his pants and boxers down past his hips. Stan hungrily took Kyle’s cock into his mouth just as it sprang free.

“Ah! Teeth!” Kyle winced when Stan’s teeth grazed the sensitive skin. Stan licked his way back up the length and gently kissed the head. “Sorry. It just looks so good, I wanna taste it…”

Stan wrapped his lips around his lover’s cock once more, careful to sheath his teeth with his lips as he sucked the redhead. Kyle panted and moaned with pleasure as Stan bobbed his head up and down on Kyle’s cock.

“Oh, fuck, Stan. This feels amazing. H-Have you ever done this before?”

The thought irked Kyle, but he just had to ask.

“Never. This is the first time,” Stan stroked Kyle as he spoke, “and I honestly didn’t think I’d enjoy it this much. Maybe ‘cause it’s _your_ cock in my mouth, Kyle. I just love how it feels, so hard and hot against my tongue, hitting the back of my throat…”

Stan’s seductive words made Kyle’s body tingle and his muscles felt useless. “Oh my God…” Kyle panted, watching Stan eagerly sucked him like a fucking popsicle. He chewed his lip and tried to stay quiet, but the way Stan looked at him with those pretty blue eyes and lapped the precum off the tip of his cock… well, that was just too much to handle without moaning in ecstasy. Stan raised a finger to his lips and smiled deviously.

“Shhhh. Your parents are right downstairs. I don’t think they’d be happy if they knew what I’m doing to you right now.”

Kyle smirked at that; he loved knowing he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

“Let’s lock the door just in case,” he suggested, “I don’t know how quiet I can be if you keep touching me like this.”

Stan got off the bed and locked the door. Kyle kicked off his pants and boxers before Stan returned.

“Jesus, Kyle… you’re so sexy,” Stan stared at Kyle’s fully naked body until the redhead huffed impatiently. He rejoined Kyle on the bed and tangled his fingers in Kyle’s red curls, getting on top of him and kissing him on the lips. Kyle ran his hands along Stan’s back and stopped at the edge of his underwear. As if Kyle’s hands had a mind of their own, they slid down further, slipping Stan’s briefs down to his thighs.

Stan stopped kissing Kyle and looked down at him in surprise when he felt Kyle’s hands squeeze his buttocks. The pair smirked lustfully at each other before Stan tugged off his final garment and let it fall to the floor. The boys were now lying on the bed completely naked, and Kyle pulled Stan closer until his body pressed firmly against Kyle’s. They kissed slowly, savoring the feeling of skin on skin, moaning into the kiss.

They moved their hips and rubbed their cocks together, panting and grinding so hard that the bed creaked every time they rocked their bodies in sync with one another. Another odd noise came from outside, but neither of them noticed.

“Ahh, I want you so bad, Stan. So fucking bad,” Kyle groaned.

“What do you want, babe? Tell me,” Stan’s voice was a low, teasing whisper.

“I want more. I wanna feel more of you…” Kyle felt delirious with desire. Stan kissed him long and hard before asking an important question.

“You wanna go all the way?”

Kyle blinked up at Stan, wondering if it was a good idea to move so fast. Then he realized something that was notorious for spoiling hot moments like this.

“We… don’t have any condoms.”

Stan frowned. “It’s not like we’re diseased or anything.”

Kyle’s displeased expression screamed ‘you ain’t gettin’ any unless you wrap it, bitch.’

Just then, Stan’s cell phone rang.

 _Bang bang there goes your heart_! _I know you want it_ \-- _Back back seat of my car_! _I’ll let you have it_ \--

“Who’s ringtone is that?” Kyle made a face.

“Uh, I think it’s Kenny’s.”

Stan leaned over the bed and found his phone in the pocket of his jeans.

“Kenny?”

“Look in Kyle’s coat pocket,” Kenny told him, then he hung up.

Stan looked at the phone in confusion and set it on the nightstand.

“What did he say?” Kyle asked impatiently.

“He just said to look in your coat pocket.”

“Why? There’s nothing in there.”

Stan shrugged and walked over to check the contents of Kyle’s coat. Kyle glanced at the naked, blue-eyed beauty standing across the room and realized just how… _well-equipped_ Stan was.

 _Holy shit it must be more than seven inches long_ … Kyle thought, trying not to stare. He lied back on the bed and crossed his arms, staring at the ceiling, instead.

“Dude…” Stan sounded surprised.

“What? What is it?” Kyle sat up, curious.

The taller boy returned to the bed and dropped the contents of Kyle’s pocket into the redhead’s open hand.

“What the fuck?” Kyle raised an eyebrow at the four condoms and free sample bottle of lube. Stan shrugged and sat on the bed next to him.

“I dunno. I know I didn’t put them there.”

Kyle angrily snatched up Stan’s phone and called Kenny’s number. It rang twice before he answered.

“Why were there condoms in my pocket?! And how’d you know we were just talking about them?!” Kyle snapped.

“I put them there at the movies. Aren’t you happy you have them? Now you guys can get it on,” Kenny smirked to himself.

“That doesn’t answer my second question,” Kyle deadpanned.

“Uhm, dude’s intuition?” The hooded boy chuckled nervously. Kyle scowled and Stan took the phone.

“Are you fuckin’ watching us?” Stan did not sound happy.

“Not anymore. I kept slipping on the icy branches and falling. I think I broke an ankle on the last fall and couldn’t get back up so I ditched a few minutes ago, but it looked like you were gonna hit a homerun before I left,” Kenny sounded really happy, and horny.

“Did you fucking _film_ us too?” Stan snapped.

“I thought about it, but no. You two have such great chemistry, though. I’d fuckin’ love it if you let me watch you guys, but I doubt Kyle would be into that shit.”

“I wouldn’t be into that shit, either, Kenny. See you on Monday.”

Stan hung up the phone and put it back on Kyle’s bedside table, pinching his brow in annoyance. He pulled the curtains shut to ensure their privacy.

“Kenny was spying on us from the tree next to your window. The weird sounds must’ve been him falling out of the tree. He’s gone now.”

Kyle was pissed about it, but he wasn’t going to let it spoil their fun.

“Let’s just forget about it, Stan. Let’s, uh, put these things to good use…” Kyle picked up a condom and smirked at Stan. The taller boy smiled back and straddled Kyle’s lap, kissing him sweetly. He reached down and stroked Kyle’s cock.

“So how do you wanna do it, babe?” Stan whispered against Kyle’s lips.

“You don’t care if you’re on top, Stan?”

“No. That’s why I’m asking what you want. I love pleasing you, Kyle. Whatever you want, I’ll enjoy it.”

“I… I wanna watch you ride me,” Kyle whispered, ashamed of the words coming out of his own mouth, but not ashamed enough to tell Stan to stop. The dark-haired boy smiled.

“I prob’ly won’t be very good at it, but I’ll try.”

“Should I uh, use my fingers first?” Kyle felt obligated to ask, but he nearly cringed at the thought of sticking his fingers in such a place.

Stan shrugged. “Nah, it should be fine.”

The inexperienced pair didn’t think much of skipping that step.

Kyle carefully tried to unroll the condom onto his length, conscious of Stan watching him. It made him nervous, and that made him soften quite a bit.

“Dammit…” Kyle cursed. Stan just leaned over and kissed him.

“Relax, babe,” he cooed, kissing the redhead and running his hands over Kyle’s slender body. It made Kyle forget about being embarrassed, and the spark of desire reignited between them. Erect once more, Kyle slid the condom on completely, and Stan gently pushed him down onto his back with a smile.

Stan grabbed the small bottle of lube and squirted some on the tip of Kyle’s cock before getting into position. It was slow-going at first, and Stan was getting impatient. He wanted this to be good for Kyle, so he did his best to relax, held his breath, and slid down to take in Kyle’s length all at once. Not the best idea he’d ever had…

Kyle sucked in a sharp breath at the feeling of being surrounded by Stan’s tight heat. Stan wasn’t so happy, though. It hurt like a motherfucker.

“H-Holy shit, dude…” Stan trembled, eyes watering. He wished the pain would just stop.

“Are you okay?” Kyle watched Stan with a frown.

“Yeah, just… just gimme a minute…”

Stan didn’t move for a minute or so, then he tried rocking up and down ever so slowly. Kyle was panting with pleasure, watching Stan’s body as he rocked up and down.

After a while, Stan got into a slow rhythm that started to feel really good. The pain was still there, but it was fading. He gradually went faster, and then harder, and then--

“Ahh!” Stan cried out when Kyle’s cock hit the perfect spot, pressing right against his prostate.

“Did that… feel good?” Kyle panted.

“Oh, fuck yeah…” Stan licked his lips as he looked down at Kyle.

As the pleasure overtook the pain, Stan rode Kyle faster and harder, making both of them moan louder than they should have. Kyle thrusted up into Stan as Stan came down hard on his cock.

“Ah… touch yourself, Stan…” Kyle panted.

Stan started to stroke himself in time with the rocking motion of their lovemaking. His eyes never left Kyle’s, the intensity building with every passing moment. Watching Stan pleasure himself made Kyle enjoy it even more. They groaned and panted each other’s names, the creaking of the bed almost as loud as the sounds coming from their own mouths.

Downstairs, Gerald and Sheila looked at one another in confusion. They muted the TV and listened closely to the noises coming from Kyle’s room. It sounded awfully erotic.

Mrs. Broflovski went upstairs and banged on Kyle’s door. “Kyle! What’s going on in there?!”

It took a moment for Kyle’s brain to think of an excuse for the noise.

“N-Nothing, Mom!” he panted, “we’re just, uh, wrestling!”

“Well be careful! It sounded like you two were gonna break the bed!”

Stan snickered, still rocking up and down. Kyle bit his lip to hold back a moan.

“Okay!”

“And don’t be so loud,” Sheila added, disturbed by the moaning she heard. She went back downstairs, leaving the boys smirking at each other.

“I guess we gotta be quiet,” Stan slowed the pace to lessen the volume of their movements.

“Yeah, I guess we do. I think it’s quieter when I move than when you rock up and down…” Kyle grabbed Stan’s hips and thrusted up into him hard. The bed didn’t make much noise, but Stan slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his own moans.

“It feels that good, huh, Stan?”

Stan nodded, hand still covering his mouth, only quiet groans slipping through his fingers, cock hard and cheeks flushed. It was undoubtedly the hottest thing Kyle had ever seen or heard. The redhead thrusted up at a steady pace while Stan touched himself, moaning softly as he watched Stan dissolving into the pleasure of it all. Kyle listened to Stan’s irregular, sharp breaths and thrusted faster. It sounded like Stan was close to coming.

“Oh, Kyle, I’m-- mmmm!” Stan could barely stifle a moan as he climaxed, his semen dripping onto Kyle’s stomach.

The sight and sound of Stan’s orgasm sent Kyle over the edge. With a few more thrusts, he climaxed as well, biting his knuckle to stay quiet. Stan leaned over and kissed Kyle on the lips, Kyle’s cock slipping out of him. They relaxed into a warm embrace and kissed softly, not remembering the sticky white mess now pressed between them.

Stan broke the kiss and stroked Kyle’s cheek.

“That was fucking _awesome_ ,” he smiled at the redhead.

“Yeah. It really was,” Kyle panted. “So you liked having me inside you?”

Stan chuckled. “Couldn’t you tell how much I loved it? I even came before you. That’s how good it felt.”

“I think I’d like to try it next time, with you inside.”

“When’s _next time_ , babe?” Stan smiled seductively.

Kyle’s cheeks felt hot with embarrassment. He never thought he’d be having this conversation with his best friend.

“I dunno. Maybe after we clean up this mess.” Kyle felt Stan’s cum dripping down his side since it was being squished between them.

“Okay.” Stan lifted himself off his friend and Kyle cringed at the sticky, wet feeling all over his stomach; it quickly turned cold against his exposed skin. He reached for the tissue box next to his bed but there was only one tissue left.

“Dammit. I’ll get a towel…” Kyle got off the bed, disgusted by the drying semen on his abdomen. Stan chuckled at Kyle’s reaction. The redhead always had a thing when it came to the bodily fluids of others.

“Don’t forget to take that off,” Stan spoke in reference to the condom Kyle was still wearing.

Kyle wrapped a robe around himself and snuck into the bathroom to clean up. He brought a damp towel back for Stan. After some kissing and groping, both boys were ready for round two…

~~~~~

Kyle lied back on the bed and handed Stan a condom.

“Kyle, I _really_ think you should let me use my fingers first. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Kyle looked at the size of Stan’s cock compared to his own; Stan’s was definitely bigger, especially in thickness, and if Kyle’s size hurt Stan without any preparation… well, Kyle would probably end up crying if Stan didn’t stretch him first.

“Okay. Are you gonna wear a glove or something?”

Kenny would’ve laughed if he heard Kyle ask such a question. Stan just raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, no. I wasn’t planning on it.” Stan just picked up the bottle of lube and put some on his fingertips. He pressed his bare fingers against Kyle’s puckered hole and Kyle immediately tensed up.

“Dude, we don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

“No, I want to. I wanna know what it feels like,” Kyle insisted.

Stan leaned forward and kissed Kyle, gently rubbing the clenched hole.

“Okay. Just relax.”

Kyle focused on kissing the taller boy and tried not to tense his muscles when he felt a finger push inside. Stan just continued kissing him sweetly, slowly sliding his finger in and out. Once Kyle relaxed completely, he slid another finger inside. The redhead felt a stinging pain but it soon passed, and Stan slowly added a third finger after Kyle adjusted to two.

“Does it still hurt, babe?” Stan whispered against Kyle’s lips.

“No. You can go faster now.”

Stan slid his fingers in and out, gradually going faster and pressing harder until Kyle was moaning against his mouth as Stan fingered him roughly.

“You ready for more?” Stan asked.

Kyle nodded eagerly in response and Stan smiled. “I’ll just, uh, wash my hands first.”

Stan grabbed Kyle’s robe and left the room.

The redhead was so horny that he’d easily forgotten about hygiene. He impatiently waited for Stan to return, touching himself until Stan came back and locked the door behind him.

“Ah, I want your cock, Stan. I want you so bad,” he panted, legs spread wide and cheeks flushed.

Stan chewed his lip with anticipation. “Oh, God, Kyle… you’re so fucking hot…”

He carefully slid on a condom and knelt between Kyle’s legs. He leaned forward and kissed Kyle passionately before gazing into his eyes.

“Do you trust me?”

Stan looked and sounded so sincere that Kyle said yes without hesitation. Stan had proven himself to be a worthy partner.

“Good. Just relax, babe. I’ll be as gentle as I can. Tell me if you wanna stop.”

Kyle nodded, anxious to feel Stan inside him. He relaxed and closed his eyes, trusting Stan to be gentle like he said he would be.

The redhead cringed at the stinging pain every time Stan pushed deeper, but it wasn’t long before Stan slid in and out at a slow pace. Kyle’s discomfort lessened as he watched the rhythmic movement of Stan’s hips and thought about how wonderfully, intimately close they were at this moment. It was better than Kyle had expected. He touched himself without thinking, and Stan licked his lips at the sight.

Stan shifted Kyle so his legs were draped over Stan’s shoulders. When he thrusted forward, Kyle moaned loudly. Stan loved the sound and didn’t even care who heard them. All that mattered was he and Kyle pleasing each other more than either of them had imagined possible. He thrusted harder each time, panting and groaning with ecstasy. He loved the look on Kyle’s face, the way he looked up at him with those perfect emerald eyes…

It felt even better than the first time.

The boys climaxed mere seconds apart, and Kyle lazily wiped himself clean with a towel before pulling Stan down on top of him. They kissed between heavy breaths, gazing into one another’s eyes and relishing their post-coital bliss.

Stan took off the condom and tossed it in the small wastebin in the corner of the room. He collapsed on the bed beside Kyle and pulled the shorter boy close to him.

“Ah… I wanna sleep,” Kyle commented as he snuggled against Stan’s body, wrestling with the blanket until he pulled it over himself and half-over Stan.

“Then let’s go to sleep,” Stan kissed Kyle on the forehead and reached for the lightswitch, then he settled in and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. He wrapped an arm around Kyle and the redhead softly pressed his lips against Stan’s. The blue-eyed teen smiled.

“I love you, Kyle.”

“Mmm, Stan…” Kyle acknowledged his friend’s declaration of affection, already half asleep. Stan hadn’t really expected an “I love you too” from Kyle, anyway.

~~~~~

The next morning, Kyle woke up at an ungodly hour, just as the sun rose over the horizon. He felt Stan’s naked body pressed against his and snuggled into the warmth. Stan’s slow, calm breaths acted as a lullaby, and Kyle fell back asleep.

Stan woke up a few hours later with a growling stomach. He got out of bed without waking Kyle, got dressed, and went to the kitchen. He took a bowl of cereal and sat on the couch to watch TV until Kyle woke up.

The redhead came downstairs nearly a half hour later and, to Stan’s surprise, he wasn’t wearing his trademark ushanka to cover his messy curls. Kyle smiled at Stan before getting a bowl of cereal for himself. He joined Stan on the couch and they sat together in silence, listening to the news until Stan finally turned off the TV with a sigh.

“Hey, Kyle?”

“Hm?” Kyle chewed a mouthful of cereal.

“What was the phrase you were gonna use to end the hypnosis?” Stan looked Kyle in the eyes.

The redhead nearly inhaled his breakfast, coughing it back into the bowl.

“W-What?”

“I know what you did, Kyle. When I threw up at the movies, I think the shock snapped me out of it, and then I remembered everything.”

Kyle felt like either last night was a dream, or this morning was a nightmare, but they were both very real. It boggled his mind how last night was so pleasurable and intimate, but now he felt animosity radiating from the taller boy. Kyle set his bowl on the table and gave Stan his full attention.

“Why didn’t you tell me once you realized it, Stan?”

“I wanted to see if you would tell me the truth. How you made me believe we’re a couple just so I’d take better care of our stupid egg… at first I didn’t want to believe it was true. It sounded like something _Cartman_ would do, for fuck’s sake! Then I thought that maybe if I made you uncomfortable enough by flirting with you or whatever, you’d tell the truth and end it, but we just let it keep going, like we were an actual couple… ‘cause it felt like we were…” Stan frowned and sighed, sadness clouding his expression.

Kyle felt like a horrible human being and an even worse friend. He didn’t know what to say to make things right, or if he could remedy this at all.

“So what happened last night… it wasn’t because you were hypnotized…”

“No. It happened ‘cause we wanted it to. I couldn’t have been hypnotized to do all that if I didn’t actually wanna do it, anyway. I couldn’t have pretended to want you, either. But I guess it was just a stupid mistake. I’m honestly surprised you even trusted me enough to let me do _anything_ intimate with you.”

“Stan, I… I’m sorry. I know what I did was wrong and I’m sorry. I wish I could take back what happened--”

That comment really irked Stan, and he cut off Kyle mid sentence.

“Of course you do. I’m sure you wanna bathe in fucking bleach after sleeping with me. You know, Kyle, if you actually cared about our friendship, you wouldn’t have hypnotized me in the first place. You would’ve just trusted me to take care of the fucking egg. But I guess even after all these years I still don’t deserve that much.”

“No! That’s not what I was trying to say!” Kyle snapped, “I wish I could take back the hypnotism bullshit, but I wouldn’t change what happened last night. I’ve never felt anything like that, Stan. It was amazing. I really loved it.”

Stan scoffed at Kyle’s words.

“Well you can find someone else to be gay with if you love it so much. I’m fucking done with you.”

It wasn’t like Kyle to cry over things, but the hatred in Stan’s voice made his eyes water and his heart ache with sadness. He was about to lose his best friend all because he selfishly worried more about getting an A+ than being honest with Stan.

The dark-haired boy got off the couch without saying a word and went upstairs to Kyle’s room to get his backpack. Kyle followed him, vision blurred by tears. He shut and locked the door behind him, blocking Stan’s path.

“Get outta the way.”

“No. I need to ask you a few things, then you can leave if you want to,” Kyle’s voice wavered.

Stan sighed and crossed his arms to indicate he was listening.

“Would you have dated me if I asked you out before hypnotizing you?”

“I don’t know. I never really thought about it.”

Kyle shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Okay. Uhm, I want to ask you something else.”

“What?” Stan’s patience was waning by the second.

“Last night, you said you love me… did you just say it or did you really mean it?”

Stan looked truly dismayed by the question. He sighed and pinched his brow.

“ _Nothing_ I said was a fucking lie, Kyle! I wasn’t _pretending_! Everything I said and everything I did was exactly what I’d have done if I were your _real_ boyfriend,” Stan snapped. The anger in his heart suddenly melted into sadness. He looked at Kyle and continued. “I liked holding hands with you and being close to you… holding you in my arms, even when I was hypnotized or whatever. I think… some part of me knew something was wrong… but it didn’t matter ‘cause I was really happy just being with you like, as a couple, before we did anything more… intimate.”

Stan’s cheeks were tinted pink as he recalled last night’s outcome. Kyle looked at him with shy hopefulness, and Stan sighed in defeat.

“So, yes, Kyle… I do love you, even though you can be a selfish asshole.”

“So you won’t leave if I move away from the door?”

“No. I won’t leave,” Stan tossed his backpack near Kyle’s closet, the withered ghost of a smile on his face.

“Good.”

Kyle walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. Stan raised an eyebrow when Kyle turned around with Melody’s protective thermos in his hands. The redhead unscrewed the cap and took out the wrapped up egg, removed it’s soft covering, and placed it back in the thermos. Stan watched in confusion.

“Kyle?”

“Stan, I care about you so much more than a stupid grade. It just took a while for me to realize that.”

Kyle took a few steps closer to the taller boy.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I’m sorry I was a selfish idiot and hypnotized you. I know I fucked up. I’m sorry for everything, Stan. I hope this proves just how sorry I am.”

Kyle held the thermos high above the floor, his arm outstretched to the side. Stan realized he was about to drop it.

“Wait, Kyle! You were so obsessed with getting a good grade! Why ruin it now? It’s not worth it.”

“If it makes you believe that I really care about you, then yes, it is.”

“Dude! Don’t--”

Stan was shocked and astonished by how calm Kyle was as he dropped the thermos with Melody inside. They heard the distinct sound of a cracking eggshell inside the container.

“Tell me that’s not the real egg, Kyle. Please, tell me that was a fake one,” Stan begged.

“No, Stan. It’s the real one.”

Stan picked up the thermos and saw the egg cracked open, its slimy, rotten contents oozing out. He quickly replaced the lid and sat on the bed, looking up at Kyle in disbelief.

“You realize we’re both totally fucked now, right? Our parents are gonna kill us for failing a class.”

Kyle reflected on his reckless action and facepalmed, sitting down beside Stan.

“Jesus Christ, I just fuck up everything lately. I’m sorry.”

Stan tossed the thermos aside and pulled Kyle into a tight embrace.

“Just stop apologizing, Kyle. I forgive you. I know how much you care about school, and I’m happy you care about me more than that, but you don’t have to do dumb shit to prove it to me.”

“You really forgive me, Stan?”

“Yeah, dude. That’s what couples do, isn’t it? Forgive each other’s fuck-ups?”

The redheaded boy smiled.

“Yeah. That’s definitely what couples do.”

Kyle leaned in and kissed the taller boy.

“I love you, Stan,” he whispered shyly against Stan’s lips.

Stan smiled and rubbed his nose against Kyle’s in an innocent eskimo kiss.

“I love you too, Kyle.”

The pair looked at one another and laughed at the stupidity of the situation they just went through, with Stan being hypnotized and everything that happened afterwards. Kyle picked up the thermos and smirked at Stan.

“I bet we can fool Garrison if we decorate another egg just like this one and fake his signature on it.”

“And then maybe you could hypnotize him into believing it’s the same egg,” Stan joked.

“You’ll never let me forget about this, will you?” Kyle asked.

“No way, dude. It’s the story I’ll tell our friends when they ask how we got together.”

“I’m just happy we _are_ together, Stan.”

“Me too, Kyle,” he held the redhead close and kissed him sweetly, “me too.”


End file.
